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Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

It's Monday ...

sparks of the week: 9/22 -

And then she had the audacity to ask if I wanted regular or decaf. I said, ‘Honey, it’s Monday…don’t even play.

For my 20 year old son.  Being married is awesome so find a nice girl and stay at the party. You don't have to sacrifice the fun you are having.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Getting married before the age of 25 sounds a lot like leaving a party before 10 PM to me. well-i-thought-it-was-funny

I cut this way too close..but I'm too stubborn to just fill it up normally

Time for my weekly game of " let's see how long I can drive with my gas light on.hahahaha or for me and my Prius my two week long drive while my gas bar flashes!

.It sure would make it easier waking up in the morning...hahaha

This is the type of day where I wish vodka came out of the shower head.I don't drink vodka.but this made me laugh!

for all those bullies.

Better yet get a team of dogs and let them pull you in a wagon.After all, You PULL a wagon.pushing a wagon.well that is just unnecessary work for anyone.

What my kids do

My kids in a nutshell! I actually tell them Psycho mom is coming out.

Funny Confession Ecard: Everybody leave me alone. I've had a busy day of being awesome and need to do it again tomorrow.

Not pole dancing, but regular dancing. This totally happened last weekend lol.

Ahh yeah, one of the reasons I don't drink often. Funny Weekend Ecard: Those five seconds where you go from tipsy to pole dance wasted.


Sounds a dream job to me

Perfect Job: Diet Coke AND coffee! With little to NO interaction with people and I don't actually have to work.

how I feel sometimes

Some people……

Yes, damn it I meant push me off that cliff because I wouldn't have the balls to take that leap of faith. We need that tough love, and I am glad I was pushed and wasn't a gentle pat on the back. But this picture is hilarious!

Birth Ctrl

Free and Funny News Ecard: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.


"Drinking rum before 10 am makes you a pirate NOT an alcoholic." Drinking rum before 10 am while watching SOA makes you an angry pirate!