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because whenever i play tag i make sure i'm not the last one before we're called inside

This is sooo me at work. I may not be a superhero but it definitely describes me as a Paramedic!!!

I'd be a terrible superhero. I'd be at home and see the signal calling me in the sky and be like, "I literally just sat down.

The loss of a true icon: | 33 Puns That Are Way Funnier Than They Should Be

The loss of a true icon:

No you idiot. I'm reading this right now. On my phone. Which I would like to clarify that it is in fact not a dead piece of wood.

No you idiot. I'm reading this right now. On my phone. Which I would like to clarify that it is in fact not a dead piece of wood.

when bored, i go to porn sites & write in the comments area "Why r u doing this? Your father & I are heartbroken."

when bored, i go to porn sites & write in the comments area "Why r u doing this? Your father & I are heartbroken.

I don’t consider myself hip

I don’t consider myself hip

#frenchlessonsfunny

My favourite phrase in the whole world. Non c'est une fucking pomme.

THIS. IS. HILARIOUS

THIS. IS. HILARIOUS

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The fact that Owl City posted that makes it so much funnier! I have laughed at this for like 10 years! Drank a glow stick oh my goodness holy cow! Drank a glow stick I literally fell off of my bed laughing

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