It's-it's complicated actually. I'm losing him-them all of my friends, the boy that was my almost lover, and I have to sit here and watch my own decisions smash the relationships that I had-or almost did have. It's crushing and upsetting, I can't be there for them, the moment when I could make everything right. Do I survive, and move on or do I do something absolutely crazy as a desperate attempt to show that I care? Eitherr way this i this is DEEP SHIT :'